Jigsaw

truce [troos]
–noun

1. a suspension of hostilities for a specified period of time by mutual agreement of the warring parties; cease-fire; armistice.

2. an agreement or treaty establishing this.

3. a temporary respite, as from trouble or pain.

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I've noticed I haven't blogged for the past 3 days because I've been busy dreaming what to do with my life in the future. The future I think is now or if not now, maybe in this so-so near tomorrow.

The reason why I really created this blog is because I'm preparing for my "Second Coming". It may sound like a "commercial line" but yeap, its true. I'm getting ready for what I call is the second chapter of my first life. It's like Kobe Bryant changing his jersey number last season from number 8 to number 24.

I really wanted this blog to have a simple melodic theme but I'm changing my mind that this would now be a freehand blog. I'll say what I would want to express and that nobody would care. I've figured to let it happen because of what I've seen in my life for the past weeks especially the my last 4 days, life has been really quite unfair with me.

I'm really so sleepy this past days especially at class but maybe its because of my new "self-time zone" I'm experiencing but hopefully, I could regain what I've missed in my life this past days. Yeap, despite the fact that a lot of things happened to me this past week, I've felt that it has been really a fast pace week for me. Look, my routine is to sleep at 6 am and wake up at around 12 in the afternoon. I will eat and fact the PC from 12-3 pm and then sleep or have rest at my room after that. I'll wake up at around 6 pm and eat dinner and wait for the next hours watching television until the time reaches 10pm and set myself for another emergency experiences at the hospital.

I'm declaring a war. I'm a declaring a war with myself. Yeap, it may sound very opposite to that word above but I'm really experiencing such troubles within me. I don't know when this "self war" would end but it has been a very sentimental personally I'm seeing right now withing me. I'm really on a tough battle with myself right now. Maybe I'm confused, but I'm also so much in deep pain this past days.

Well, this would be my finale for this blog entry. People, please pray for me to become calm this next days.

Unrest

e·mer·gen·cy [i-mur-juhn-see]

–noun

1.a sudden, urgent, usually unexpected occurrence or occasion requiring immediate action.

2.a state, esp. of need for help or relief, created by some unexpected event: a weather emergency; a financial emergency.

–adjective
3.granted, used, or for use in an emergency: an emergency leave; emergency lights.

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I haven't posted anything here for the past 3 days because I became busy of my clinical duty. Yes, I'm a nurse and the word above just fits my job for and and hopefully for the future. Anyways, we were assigned at Ospital ng Maynila Medical Center for our first clinical duty just after having our Capping and Pinning Ceremonies. My duty is at the emergency room that starts from 11:00 PM and will end at 6:00 am. God, what can you expect from that time in a hospital controlled by the local government which offers almost free hospitalization and health care services for their constituents. Well, if not free, at least minimal expenses will be paid but that is really haven for the poor who needs the best care in town.

Most of the patients are the indigent constituents of the City of Manila. People who can't afford admitting themselves into a private hospital at times wherein most emergency cases could happen. You will see there people who'd came in bloody because of what we call "the Filipino late night attitude".

When I say "The Filipino late night attitude", it's the kind of miracles, I mean annoying and disgusting things the culture taught them to do when drunk or when their manhood is being depreciated by their fellows drinking buddies. Exemption to this rule are the people who try to meddle in a melee but ends up as the bloody victim after the fight.

But the most annoying of all the experiences are the real victims or those we call "napagtripan". It's really not funny thinking of these facts. I kept thinking how the hell could they do all this things despite having the same status in life (poor;indigent)? This is a question that is really for the ages.

Is this the effect of culture to all of us? Is this the kind of mentality we want the next generations to inherit? Come on, think of it again.

Chapter I

fal·li·ble [fal-uh-buhl]
–adjective

1.(of persons) liable to err, esp. in being deceived or mistaken.

2.liable to be erroneous or false; not accurate: fallible information.

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Let me start this whole writing thing by saying sorry to all those people whom I have hurt from the day I was born up to this moment I am writing this entry. To my friends who maybe think I was too insensitive of their feelings, I ask for your forgiveness. To my parents whom I disappointed for many times already in my life, let me ask for another chance. Lastly, to all my lady friends who have been significant to my life way back childhood up to this day who think of me as someone beyond my real limit, whom I committed so much dishonesty and lying, I may not be able to personally ask forgiveness from you but let me say thank you that you all have molded me in what I am right now.

They say that every human is fallible. Most of the time, being fallible has been the most used defensive excuse by people who keeps on making the same mistakes again in their life. I am fallible. I keep doing the same things I should not suppose to do and it really makes my life a bit complicated at times. The most important thing about being fallible in humans is that his or her openness to change. The same as I do every time I've done something wrong, every mistakes I commit or have committed translates into change the way I want myself to adapt in a certain situation.

One common misconception they say is that "they fight for what they believe is right". For me, its not fighting for what I believe is right but fighting for what I believe to be much acceptable to those people around. Let us not excuse ourselves of being blinded every time by our own pride rather, let us be humble and be open for any changes we know would be good for us and would be good to the sensitivity of people around us.

The most important thing in the word fallible is that after all mistakes we've done, there is always that very important and/or significant learnings we knew would be helpful in our everyday adjustments in life.

We just need acceptance that we may not be able to be too much of a disastrous instrument that people might begin to hate us. Let us be a somebody willing to be of an epitome of goodness and change.

Prologue

e·pit·o·me [i-pit-uh-mee]
–noun

1. a person or thing that is typical of or possesses to a high degree the features of a whole class: He is the epitome of goodness.

2. a condensed account, esp. of a literary work; abstract.

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With the two meanings of the word epitome given above, let me welcome you to my blog. This would be the blog for the second chapter of my life. All entries would start with a word that I would get from http://www.dictionary.com/ and I would try to explain how it affects my life.

For today, the word I use is epitome. It's simply describing this blog by its second meaning. The only difference is stories I would want to share are partly abstracts but I also would share concrete things that happened to me as of yeasterday, the present and in the future.

Maybe if there is just one thing abstract in my life is my imagination which keeps me from dreaming things I wish could happen to me.

They say that epitome is an abstract account of things or summary of something. What I want to summarize here is my journey, my everyday adventure in life that I wish could keep me alive. Also, my adventure of looking for that sweetest downfall I would like to know.